I should seriously stop visiting facebook, even though I do get a lot of good out of it, sometimes when I see people make random comments, maybe when people say things just for the sake of saying, I feel very bad.
The recent one was in a group of women, supposedly all wonderful women who are free spirits. A lovely person had written something about a person she met, how that woman was kind of oppressed all her life long by her family/parents/husband. Another woman in the group comments that this lady must be swimming in self-pity and that she must be a crib queen! And another one joins in saying these kind of women are dangerous because “these are the ones who think of suicide or pick up diseases which allow them some attention.”
Have we gone to a stage where we lack empathy? We read about someone and straightaway form negative impressions of that person. Also how can someone say that people pick up diseases or contemplate suicide to get some attention? They are dangerous not because they will pick up diseases or contemplate suicide to get attention but because that is what will happen whether they want it or not. When someone is contemplating suicide, it is not because they are looking for attention, it is because they cannot bear the pain, find no one to share the pain with and cannot find a solution to their problem. A little bit of empathy is needed when we look at such people. Yes, the suppression may be by themselves – but do we even know why? Not because they want to gain brownie points in front of other people, but because there has been nobody to support them, unsupportive parents, siblings they cannot trust, friends who they are afraid will judge them and leave them, spouse who is not ready to listen, kids whom they don’t want to trouble…….. The only way we can be helpful is being empathetic, listen to them without judging them when they eventually open up and help them in whatever way we can.
I know of women who threaten to commit suicide all the time. But the actual ones that are in trouble never talk about it, never talk about their troubles. They just do it one fine day when no one suspects anything!
The next time when someone says people contemplate suicide just to get attention, I will actually get up and slap them!