There have been a few earthquakes in the past few days, three or four biggies and plenty more aftershocks. I felt only the real two big ones. I had a busy day yesterday and wanted to stay in bed longer today. Unexpectedly son woke up early and even then because he said it was ok, I continued to doze off. I was woken up by a pretty bad earthquake.

I got up, brushed and settled back in bed. I somehow didn’t feel like getting up and eating something even though I knew I was hungry. I actually would have stuffed my face if food was placed in front of me. Nobody did that and I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed.

I, later on, managed to have my shower and quickly grab some brunch. Even though I knew I had so much work to do, I just couldn’t get myself to do anything. At one stage I couldn’t even breathe properly.

If it was before I would have left it as unknown reasons. But after my own unofficial assessment, I know it is nothing but anxiety. I know it is difficult for others to understand and so I haven’t bothered telling anyone else about it. What can I tell anyone when people think controlling my thoughts and changing the way I think can alter my nightmares and dreams and my anxiety and my intuitions? All I can do is write here.

A lot of talking about the earthquake to everyone that called, wrote, messaged me, etc has put me through this anxiety. Tried to take a nap in the evening which ended up in me waking up much more worried. Hope tonight will  be a peaceful night and tomorrow morning I will wake up in better form.


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