Yet another lunch date and as we crossed a scantily clad young girl on our way in Matt blurted out… “Women, they should look to being anything but beautiful, they should be brave, courageous, amazing in their own way” he spoke softly, but there was something in that voice that said it meant a lot to him.
“Yes, I agree” Sat nodded. ‘I wish all women understood this, but they can’t. They are programmed to attract males only by being beautiful. Unfortunately, very few men understand this too, right? How many times have I gently reminded men that I don’t need the makeup or the hair dye and that I am happy to be who I am?”
‘Tell this to women who are too willing to expose in different degrees” the discussion was getting heated up.
“I agree there are women who expose, I’m not saying no, it is just it takes all kinds of people to make the world, both men and women We can’t change the world, let us just move on and find people of our wavelength and be happy.” Sat was very calm.
” I don’t want them to change.. This exposing…. But i don’t like them giving reasons of freedom to dress and comfort. Say openly you want to look attractive. Period.” Matt was still upset
” If you don’t want them to change they why are you looking at what reasons they are giving? Also, why are you worried about someone exposing, you should maintain eye contact and let your eyes not drift and you will not have any problem.” Sat smiled to make things light.
“If there is nobody to appreciate it in some way or the other, do you think this will continue to happen? No demand, no supply!” she smiled. and continued… ” I look at it in a different way Matt, it is their choice,.. it is their freedom to dress to attract. As long as that is not interfering in anybody’s life in any which way, who are we to say anything? Anyone will want to look good, to impress in some way or the other, right? If you look deep, these are all people that are lacking attention, love and much more in some way or the other. Give them what they lack and see the change. But we don’t have the time for it unfortunately, no time to dig deep and no time to offer… I see this in children throwing tantrums, seeking negative attention, I see this in adults behaving adamantly, it is there in everyone in different forms, sometimes noticeable, sometimes not. When do children seek negative attention? When they do not get any appreciation for what they do in a positive manner, right? What we find disgusting, some others don’t! What you think is exposing could look elegant to someone else too.”
“hmm” he sounded as though he didn’t want to continue but just didn’t want to argue either.
“Are we not discussing this from a very privileged position?” Sat continued
“What? What has that got to do with it?”
“Today you have got a loving family. Your wife has a loving husband and your daughter has a loving father and same goes for your siblings. We have the education, so-called conventional beauty, skills and money to buy the skills we don’t have. So we tend to look at the world from only one angle. We cannot talk about it till we walk in their shoes.”
“Before you say anything, listen to me. We live in a country where even the matrimonial ads read ‘Wanted :fair, tall and slim girl’. Find me one ad that says ‘Wanted: Smart, intelligent and courageous girls’. In my 44 years of life, I am yet to see one. There is so much peer pressure, social pressure and media these days is doing all it can to make it worse for the youngsters. What have you done to stop the Fair and lovely ads? I have friends and family who will not let me tag them on a photo where they are not looking good. I have friends and family where well educated, well traveled girls find it difficult to find a groom because they don’t fit into the conventional definition of beauty. How many women don’t fall into the ‘beautiful’ category and have nothing else to make them feel better, no proper education, no money, no family support, nothing? Some of them may go the “expose to get attention” way. I am not saying it is right, all I am saying is we are not here to judge them. If you can change the life of one such person, do it, else, let go. Be happy that you and your family are privileged and don’t have to go down that way.”
Lunch was yummy and the discussion even better. Today was Sat’s day and tomorrow may be his! Sat was sure that Matt would understand what she meant someday. It is tough to live in a society where women are judged for wearing a fully covered nightie to drop her kids off at school and wearing short skirts to the pub.We are living in a society where women who clearly state their sexual desires are called all kinds of names and having to deal with all kinds of comments. Things will change.. Someday…