5:30 pm, I am driving back from the library, smiling to myself, humming along with the radio completely off note and dancing in my seat at traffic signals. I must look crazy to random people on the street, I dare not look at the car in the next lane. My kids reassure me as usual that i am right in guessing what others are thinking about me. I laugh with them as usual
i reach home and skim through the million messages on my phone. Most of them are boring work. Then I see M’s message. A link he has sent. https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=mNxd1GEDYiQ I like his sense of music, he always sends me beautiful music. i click on the link and drop the phone on the dining table and proceed to find something for the kids to eat. And then the music starts. I turn around automatically. There is something about this music that makes me feel that I have heard it before. Something that I can relate to the very first time I hear it. Itis melodious, beautiful just mesmerizing. I kind of hum along as I work away for the next two and a half minutes. When it finishes I feel elated. I want the song to go on and on forever. I play it again. even the kids are not complaining about me playing some random Hindi song. What about this song makes me feel good – the music, the voice, the lyrics, the video? Not sure what, maybe the whole package.
I go looking for my ear phones. I don’t want to bore them more when I play it again, actually, more like I don’t want to share it with them, not that they care. They are lost in their world. I don”t talk about music to everyone. i want to share it with someone. I share it with the one person I sometimes share music with. I know there would be no comments, nothing, but I can’t think of anyone else to share it with. When you are happy and you want to share it with someone… ii is the same feeling. I share it anyway.
I come upstairs and settle in my bed hoping to get some work done. But instead search for the movie, realise that the movie is not going to be released till another two weeks. I then impulsively check when it would be released here and notice that it could be released in the chain of cinemas here, a chance that it could be released close to home. Maybe I could sneak out an evening with a friend or just by myself to watch the movie.
So, instead of working I ended up wasting time doing random things till dinner time. I serve dinner for the kids still listening to the same song on repeat. I sit down at the table with them. Even though I don’t eat dinner usually, sometimes. I have a turmeric latte or a hot chocolate. Today was a hot chocolate day, I topped it up with a couple of malt teasers and a small block of dark chocolate. A luxury I have some days. They have their dinner, each reading their own book
From where I am sitting I can see outside into my garden. I had left some lemon rice and water for the birds for tomorrow morning. But of course it was early and the birds had come for their dinner. I look at the little sparrow which gathers up a few grains in its beak and flies away. Then there is this big fat sparrow, trying to mess up my vegetable patch. The sparrow seems to chase away other birds from there. I wonder what it was doing. Was it going to lay an egg or two or more? I get up with a smile on my face and go about finishing my work as I send the kids up to get ready for bed.
I go up and ask the kids what they want to do for the half an hour we spend together every night. They say they don’t want to watch air crash investigation (disappointed) or Lego star wars (relieved) for a change. They want to do up the sign board that we promised for our community garden while googling random people and playing random songs. They tell me how horrible my handwriting is, just like how horrible my singing is. So we sat down and did the sign board together, they say they will do most of the work and I could join them in doing bits without messing it up. I agree and let them do what they want. They did play songs but I had my ear phones on with low volume so I could still hear my song on repeat.
Now they are in bed, much later than usual. Usually when the man I am married to is out of town we hit bed early. I was in bed at 9:30 last night Today it is more than half an hour late, but who cares. I am sitting here at nearly 11:00 enjoying my music and writing this. Once this is done, I will get back to finishing my work and I have tons of it to finish before tomorrow morning.
Thank you M for sending me this link, I am enjoying this and please keep sending me good music. Reminds me of our days together 24 years ago when we used to talk about music. Reminds me of the night when you, B and I sat in the darkness of a power cut and B sang ‘ek akela is.shaher …” Till date I have not been able to listen to that song without thinking of that night. Some memories stay on forever and so will this night and this song…